When you have a hyphenated name, you can expect that people will make assumptions about who you are as a person, but their expectations will reflect their points of view more than your own. As with many facets of life, the only solution is to do your own thing and not care what other people think.
Spoiler: I did not. Similarly, if two upper-class families joined through marriage, the couple might take a combined name to signify their connections to both lineages. Wodehouse novel. Even with all the headaches the name can cause, it feels right to me to retain the name with which I grew up, but at the same time call myself something that reflects a major milestone in my life. For now, at least. Don't focus only on the hyphen. Smith-Jones will have an easier time than Mr.
If your names are long, uncommon in the place where you live, and have multiple possible spellings, then your hyphenated name is going to cause you some trouble. That's okay if it's a matter of principle, but you have to be realistic when you decide whether you're willing to cope with complications. Plenty of people use one name socially and another name professionally. However, if you use one name for your voter registration and another for your library card and yet another for your taxes, you might find things complicated.
As much as possible, use one name for all your official forms. Traditionally, a woman can always use Mrs. Hisname, no matter what name she uses for herself. So a mom whose kids use her husband's last name is completely correct calling herself Mrs. Hisname at the children's school. Two women could each use Mrs. Partner's name. Men don't have a tradition of this kind, so you can make up your own!
Just stick to your legal name on forms. Various states have varying laws about names. In most states, women can easily change their names when they get married, but there are usually some actions required. The same is true for men in some states — but definitely fewer.
A man is more likely to have to go through the whole legal process of changing his name, even though he's getting married. At least one state requires children to be given their father's surname unless they take legal action. Find out what your local laws are before you make your decision. Make sure you're willing to go to the amount of trouble required. If you're changing your last name to a hyphenate after getting married, we suggest going the easy route using HitchSwitch. Working tirelessly to bring you stimulating content day after day, the Offbeat Empire's editors will not sleep until you've gotten your offbeat fix.
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